Chapter 3 VI

I thought I was a horrible person, but she did the same exact thing to each other. We promised each other that we would never do that, nothing we can do now. The Party is overall okay after my experience. My memories are almost gone, I cannot recall anything especially a recent dream. Everything will be okay if Big Brother is there for all of us.

Chapter 3 V

Today was the worst that it could possibly be. O'Brian turned a 180 on me, he knew my fear, rats. I was put in a box of starving dirty rats. He planned this out all along it seemed, he knew if he put me in that kind of situation that something would happen. Under pressure, I gave up Julia. I was selfish, yet I found out she gave me up instantly like I was nothing to her.

Chapter 3 IV

They keep trying to change my opinion about the Party. It will never happen because I am one of the few that know about them. The way they change history and lie about what has happened in the past, yet what frustrates me more is that the future lies in the proles. Yet they will not be able to if they are continually brainwashed. Nothing will happen as long as I am in here, locked up.

Chapter 3 III

Party is seeking more power by controlling every move of us. He knows everything that has been going on, which frustrates me more than anything. The thought of being without Julia kills me. Or with the thought of him knowing everything that has happened through the past few weeks, months or years. I feel betrayed yet I do not want to say anything for the fear that they might do anything to Julia.

Chapter 3 II

Worst part about trust, is having it broken. O'Brian, my idol, the person that I have looked up to for taking a stand has been directing everything. Now everything made sense, we have been watched the whole time through the affair. He knows how to control everything like when I die or how I am tortured. All of this just shows the corruption of the Party.

Chapter 3 I

Julia woke up to singing, what could be better? She is my love, yet now we cannot be together because we were caught. The people who I trust with literally my life. Mr. Charrington is part of the thought police. We cannot be together. The whole time the telescreen was behind a picture. We both are done for, so called for love forever with her.

Chapter 2 X

Julia and I were caught today by the thought police. . The window and my paper weight broke on the invasion. I was shocked when I saw Mr. Charrington walk through the window. I'm scared I am going to be caught writing this. Every move I make, they are watching me.

Chapter 2 IX

It is the middle of Hate Week. The week has been horrible. I ended my job this week with a total of 92 hours. Julia and I got some time together. I read to her some of Goldstein's book which refers to the history of the central Party. While reading out loud to Julia, I realized that she was quietly asleep.

Chapter 2 VIII

The shock of actually being able to turn off what the party is able to see is amazing. Julia came with me to visit O'Brian, yet she left early. After she left, O'Brian handed me Goldstein's book. O'Brian and I parted our ways, but before I left he told me I would see him again. The curiosity of when, where and how still repeat in my head. But only time can tell the future in the process of rebellion.

Chapter 2 VII

The day before today I was woken up by crying. The crying was coming from myself. A dream that cleared up thoughts from my childhood. My mother and sister could be alive. Or they could be dead. The dream consisted of a greedy boy, me, my sister and my mother. My mother received the ration of chocolate and divided into parts for my sister and me. I grabbed my frail sisters chocolate and ran away, never to see them again. I told Julia about this dream, and she instantly became worried for our own lives. If we were caught committing a crime, we would be tortured or killed, or maybe both. The possibility of ending what we have together kills me..

Chapter 2 VI

The thought of rebelling makes me anxious. O'Brian, the person who I have looked forward to meeting my whole life, found me! O'Brian, if you do not already know is a rebel himself, but he is a lucky one. He lives where there are no cameras watching him, so he wants to show me the Newspeak dictionary that Syme was helping write. The excitement of being able to hold the address of the O'Brian. In the process of the rebellion against the Party is mind-breaking.

Chapter 2 V

As suspected, Syme vanished during Hate Week. The thought that there will only be one word left in fifty years should have been kept to himself, and saved him his life. The chaos is great in preparation for Hate Week. The proles have become more loud than ever, which I find annoying. The room above Mr. Charrington's shop eats away at me. The thought of escaping to rendezvous with Julia there, is the best place. If only Katharine could die and enable Julia and I to be together for as long as we both shall live.

Chapter 2 IV

Julia's schedule has been tentative with Hate Week. The inability to meet with Julia frustrates me a great deal. The thought of us married and living a romantic life eats me away everyday. She finally came through with a meeting. To my surprise she brought an abundance of coffee that only the Inner Party receives. In the room that we stayed in there were rats. Those rats terrify me more than anything. She saw the coral like paperweight I imagined killing her with.

Chapter 2 III

Julia is confusing me more everyday. The thought that she would want to live in a hostel with 30 other women angers me, the thought of no more sex or encounters. She told me she does not want a big rebellion with the Party. In a way, she only wants to play patty-cake with them just for fun. She does not know or believe in what happened in the past. She denies every part of the truth just because the Party backs up their lies, with more lies.

Chapter 2 II

This once before peculiar girl, is no more. We met in the open field to exchange much more than hellos. She has a repertoire of the Party members she has been with which makes me love her more and more. I found out Julia is her name; I no longer think of her as a spy, more of a pursuit of my happiness. For once, I think, actually I know I am in love with Julia. The best part about loving her is, it is against the Party's wishes.

Chapter 2 I

Everyday goes the same, dull and useless, except for today. Today was something out of the ordinary. This dark haired girl slipped me a note as she fell. I was curious of what this girl had to say to me after I had thought of killing her. To my surprise, this girl who was well put together was supposedly in love with me. the thought of someone actually loving me compared to Katharine. Although I worry for the next few days when she does not love me anymore.